Deader than Dead
by KimberleyIonaSmith
Summary: In which Jasper and Edward play a rather silly prank, their wives find out and punish them. Set after Breaking Dawn. WARNING: this story contains spanking and discussions thereof. If that isn't your sort of thing, please don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I didn't write 'Twilight', which ends with 'Breaking Dawn'. If Mrs Meyer had continued the story it would NOT have gone like this.

Author's Note: This story is a spank-fic. It contains domestic discipline. If you would rather not read such depraved nonsense, please look away now.

Alice and I were at shopping together, when I first realised that something was wrong. One moment, we were going through a rack of children's clothes, arguing about whether yellow would look good against Renesmee's hair, then the next moment Alice had a vision.

"You're not going to like this at all," she told me, "our husbands are about to get themselves into trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" Alice didn't look worried, and she would certainly be worried if anything bad was about to happen to Jasper, or to Edward for that matter.

"Either dragged out of the hospital by Carlisle, or moving out of state, trouble," she said, "our problem is that, either way, we're talking about scolding-from-your-wife-trouble. I don't much like doing it; but it's your first time, so you're not going to like it at all."

While Alice was talking, I had quickly slipped the yellow dress to the back of the rack. "Has it happened yet?" I asked, turning back towards her.

Alice rolled her eyes and found the dress again, "not yet. But, there's no point trying to stop them. I thought about it this morning, when they first started planning, and it would only have encouraged them to go further."

"Oh." I wondered if it was worth debating that issue with Alice. Surely it was worth at least trying to warn the boys. Still, if that debate was anything like our little tussle over the yellow dress, I may as well save my breath. She was already halfway to the till.

"So, what are they doing, or about to do?"

Alice grinned at me, pleased that I'd given up on trying to resist the dress. I could always encourage Renesmee to paint whilst wearing it. She handed over her card.

She replied in a low tone, too quiet for us to be overheard. That wasn't a good sign. That must mean that our husbands hadn't gotten themselves into normal, human-style trouble. They'd pulled a full-on vampire stunt. "It's best if you let Edward confess. He deserves the chance to earn a few mitigating brownie points by coming clean. I'll let you know if he leaves anything out!"

"I can give him brownie points for honesty whether I already know what he was up to or not."

Alice nodded, "but, if you know in advance, he won't get the full-on Bella fury, and he definitely deserves it. I don't want you to have any time to get used to it before you see him."

I laughed, "Alice, are you trying to get Edward into more or less trouble?"

She tapped the card machine and watched as her payment was processed. "I want him to see how shocked you are. Then I want him to impress you by being completely honest. It's the best thing for your long-term relationship. You should know by now, Bella, I like to plan long-term."

As we walked out of the shop, I turned to face her, "I guess we'd better head back, then. No more shopping for us."

"Not so," Alice winked, "they've got to misbehave, get caught and get dragged home by their ears. It'll take them between forty and sixty minutes. We can do one more shop, and still arrive home just behind them."

I sighed, one more shop, it was.

We didn't spend too long in there, not by Alice's standards. Soon enough we were driving home, with three bags of clothes for Renesmee and a little something for each of us.

"Do you want help with Edward?" Alice asked me casually.

"What do you mean?"

She frowned, "we did discuss this once before the change, do you remember? Because we can't reveal our nature to humans, we tend to try and provide our own private policing. That means that when someone crosses the line, the family step in and provide a consequence. All the couples tend to deal with these things privately. So you have every right to punish Edward yourself. But, since you've never done it before and might not know what you need to do to make an impression on him. I was wondering if you would like some help."

I wasn't sure how much of this I remembered at all. But, I probably would have tried to block it from my mind!

"Do I have to punish him?"

Alice shrugged.

"What happened before I was changed? You know, if Edward 'crossed the line'?"

"Ah," she pulled a face, "last time Edward really needed disciplining, Jasper did it. That wouldn't really be suitable today."

"But, Carlisle . . ." Alice cut me off before I could remind her that Carlisle was Edward's father.

"Will offer. But, Edward would far rather it was you."

I found that hard to believe.

Alice swung the car onto the Cullens' drive, we were almost there.

"Just remember," she said, "you're all he's got. There's no police, no judge, no court. Either you give him consequences, or he gets away with it."

She'd pulled up outside the house before she spoke, so I knew that the whole house would have heard Alice's parting shot.

Sure enough, Edward moaned, "thank you, Alice, that's very helpful," as we walked into the house.

Alice smirked at him.

I looked around the room. Edward and Jasper would sat next to each other on a couch. Edward was scowling at Alice. Jasper was staring intently at his hands, which were held loosely in his lap. Carlisle and Esme were stood in front of them. Rose and Emmett were leaning against the wall. Rose was looking pretty irritated, but Emmett was grinning broadly. Whatever Edward had been involved in, Emmett was obviously amused.

"We sent Renesmee out with Jacob," Esme told me, "I hope that's alright, Bella."

"I said it was alright," Edward interrupted crossly.

I suppressed a smirk at his sulky tone, "don't worry," I said, "it sounds like a good plan, whoever's plan it was. So, what happened?"

Jasper looked up suddenly, "we were very stupid" he said, looking directly at Alice. "We thought that it would be funny; but we now realise that it was a very badly thought-out plan."

"You know that Carlisle's been having a lot of trouble with that new nurse," Edward interrupted, "we thought of a plan to make her move back to Seattle."

Carlisle didn't look grateful. So, I guess he wasn't involved in making this plan. In fact, he looked pretty cross.

"We decided to convince her that the hospital was haunted" Jasper continued. "We, moved things around, so that she thought there might be a poltergeist And, um . . ." he glanced at Edward, as if wondering if he wanted to take over the story. Edward scowled, but didn't speak. So Jasper carried on, "Edward told her a story about a nurse from years ago, who'd been unfairly dismissed and killed herself. And had vowed to haunt anyone who tried to replace her. Er . . . I hid nearby and amped up the fear a little bit."

"It would have worked," Edward said, "and it's not as though anyone got hurt."

"Yet," Emmett inserted.

Jasper's shoulders slumped and he looked warily at Alice.

Edward looked furiously at Emmett.

"She was very distressed," Carlisle said sternly.

"And, she knows who you are, Edward!" Rosalie added, "it's not exactly inconspicuous, is it? Don't you think that she might have wondered why you were the only one to tell her this story?"

Edward frowned, "I'd have picked up on any suspicions. She certainly didn't think that there was anything creepy about me. She thought that the hospital was creepy and their might be something in the story."

"Edward," Alice said, "you only know what she was thinking when you were there. What if she gives the whole matter a bit more thought later? It's far more likely that you're playing a joke than it is that the hospital is haunted!"

"Exactly," Rose leapt in, "and, once she figures out that this was you, playing a trick. Then she'll wonder how you did it! We don't need humans thinking that you have an uncanny ability to move objects around and flicker lights!"

"In summary," Jasper offered, "we were rather mean to this woman, and we risked drawing unwanted attention to ourselves and our abilities. I'm sorry, Alice."

Alice nodded. "Alright, does anyone else have anything to add?"

"It was kind of funny," Emmett offered.

"I don't think that any real suspicions have been raised," Carlisle said, "I stepped in before Edward's story was quite finished."

"So, we're only talking about a risk of revealing our secret. We're not saying that they actually did," Emmett clarified.

"So we don't have to move. But, there still have to be consequences," Rosalie said.

"All agreed? Jasper and Edward broke family rules and risked revealing our nature."

Emmett sighed, "yeah," he said.

"Yes," Rosalie responded firmly.

"Agreed" said Alice.

"Yes" said Esme.

"Um . . . I guess they did," I muttered, a little confused by this part of the proceedings.

"So, consequences," Carlisle continued.

"Unless there are any objections; I'll speak to Jasper about this privately. As is usual for us, I would like to punish Jasper myself. Can we consider the matter closed?" Alice asked. When she received affirmative nods all around, she turned back to an unusually meek Jasper and said, "go and wait in your study." He nodded sharply and hurried out of the room.

All eyes turned to me.

"Bella, I know that this must be very uncomfortable for you," Carlisle said, "as Edward's mate, of course we all respect your right to determine the best course of action. But, I think that the general feeling is that some sort of punishment would be suitable. If you don't wish to discipline him yourself, I would be more than willing to do so in your stead."

"Bella may not feel that any sort of punishment is suitable," Edward grouched.

"Indeed," Carlisle's eyebrows raised and Edward scowled down at his hands. "Well, Bella, what do you want to do?"

"It wouldn't be fair if Jasper was punished and Edward was let off scott free. They both did the same thing."

"We could call Jasper back," Edward suggested.

Rosalie hissed. Carlisle raised his hand to his forehead.

Esme said softly, "oh, Edward."

Emmett chuckled, "give it up, boy, you are busted."

"I think that we're done discussing Jasper," Alice said, gently, but firmly; "it's time to make a decision, Bella. It can be you or it can be Carlisle, but for the sake of the whole family, someone is going to have to deal with Edward now."

I tried to get Edward's attention. I pulled back my shield and thought _what do you want me to do?_ But he didn't respond in anyway. Maybe he didn't care.

Carlisle came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He guided me into the hallway, where he said, "I know that you're worried about this, Bella. You want to do what's best for him. I admire that about you, and I want to help. He'd hate it if I punished him. We've known each other a long time, and we've managed to avoid having that sort of a relationship. I know that I haven't always given him the structure and boundaries that he's needed. But, the friendship that we've developed is a strangely fragile thing. I brought him into this life. A part of him still thinks that I damned him. He cannot respect me in that way. But you . . . Ah, you've saved him in so many ways. I'm his sire, of course, but you're his maker. He would rather submit to you than me. Trust me."

I stared at him. Why had we never spoken of this sort of thing before? Why didn't we have more time to discuss it fully now? Every minute we spent discussing this, Edward was waiting miserably in the lounge and Jasper was waiting miserably in his office. I should be quick.

"I'm Edward's wife; I'm almost a hundred years his junior. Which part of that makes me more suitable for disciplining him than you?"

"You saved his life in Volterra. You love him. You became a vampire in order to be with him. You gave him a child, at the risk of your own life. He adores you. It isn't only love that Edward has for you, it's also reverence."

"You don't think that I'll ruin it all if I start punishing him?"

"I wouldn't advise that you did it too often. But, this probably won't come up again for a while."

"Alright, Carlisle. I trust you."

He smiled warmly at me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

We returned to the rest of the family.

Emmett and Rosalie had gone. Alice was still there, perched on a table and swinging her legs. Esme was sat next to Edward talking quietly to him.

Esme and Edward both looked up when we walked in. Esme patted Edward's hand. He looked from me to Carlisle and back. "What's the decision, Bella?"

"You're coming with me, Edward," I said.

He nodded.

"Now?"

"Right now, you should wait in your room upstairs" Alice said calmly, "Bella and I need to do something."

Edward looked questioningly at me, but I had no idea what she was talking about. So I just shrugged. Edward sighed and left the room. What was the point in arguing with Alice.

"Alright, Bella, come on. Jazz has waited long enough, poor lamb."

"I don't think that he's waiting for me, Alice. Shouldn't I just go and talk to Edward?"

"Talking is a euphemism, Bella, everyone's expecting you to spank him. You can't possibly just talk!"

"That's what Carlisle was talking about? I can't do that! Alice! You're all crazy."

"Yeah, yeah, Bella, it's shocking and surprising. Come on, you'll be fine. You need to come and watch me punish Jasper. After that, you'll be just fine."

"No, Alice, that won't be fine. Won't Jasper hate it?"

"Mmm?" Alice looked distracted, "yes, probably."

Alice strode quickly into Jasper's office. I trailed in behind her, still wondering if she really knew what was going on.

Jasper was stood very smartly in front of his desk. Alice swung herself into his big leather chair.

"Fetch Bella a chair, Jasper," she said.

He barred his head in acquiescence and dashed off.

"Alice?" I hissed, "are you sure about . . ."

"Ugh!" Alice waved a hand in the air, "I'm always sure Bella. I'm a psychic."

Jasper returned with a chair and solicitously helped me into it before returning to his place.

"You know that pretending to be a ghost is silly. Using your gift on humans is dangerous. You could have attracted attention to us. You know how big a risk that is."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Besides which, you led your little brother astray. You ought to be setting a good example for Edward; is that what you did today?"

"No, ma'am."

"Alright, do you have anything to say before you get your thrashing?"

Jasper continued to look straight ahead and spoke very formally. "I'm sorry for letting you down, ma'am. But, do you intend to spank me in full view of Mrs Masen, ma'am?" There was a miserable pause, "I would find that humiliating."

I'd never heard Jasper call me 'Mrs Masen' before. He said it humbly, as though it were a term of respect. If Alice had seemed less stern, I would have offered to leave. Jasper's unhappy request was so hard to hear. But, Alice was definitely in control and I didn't think that I ought to say anything at all.

Alice seemed unmoved by her husband's request. "Jasper, because of your behaviour today Bella is going to have to put her husband over her knee for the first time ever. I am determined that you should set an example for Edward. If you can't be a good example of how to behave, then you can be an example of how to take a beating."

"Yes, ma'am." Jasper's eyes dropped down to the floor.

"Alright, Jasper," there was a softening of Alice's tone, she wasn't pleased to punish Jasper in this way, but she was quite convinced that it was necessary, "it will be over soon. Get ready."

Jasper was nervous. He fiddled with his belt, trying to undo the clasp.

There was a scratching, clinking noise. Jasper couldn't get his belt undone. He pulled at it and tugged, but his fingers were huge with nerves. The humiliation of standing in front of his sister-in-law attempting – and failing – to bear his backside for a spanking was all too much. Embarrassment made his hands clumsy and too large to manipulate the tricky clasp.

His movements grew faster and more desperate as he struggled to obey and began to panic that his slowness would get him into more trouble. His breathing became shallow and fast. I could hear him losing his composure.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he muttered, "it's new."

Alice slipped round behind him and slid her hands around his waist. At her touch, Jasper instantly began to steady. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's alright, I've got it," she said, "calm down, Jazz."

Alice undid Jasper's belt for him, and stayed by his side, resting her hand on his back while he eased his trousers and his underpants down to his ankles. Jasper leant almost imperceptibly into Alice's touch. Even though he knew that she was about to spank him, her hand against his back calmed him. He completed his preparations smoothly and smartly.

He bent over the desk. He crossed his arms and leant over them, hiding his face inside the crook of his right elbow.

Alice kept her left hand resting on Jasper's back, she stepped around to stand at his side. Then she pulled back her right hand and cracked it down hard on Jasper's naked butt. The first smack sounded like an explosion.

The smacks kept coming, each loud crack following quickly after the previous one, it sounded like a firework display. After ten minutes, Jasper's shoulders began to shake. He began to whimper.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry, ma'am." Jasper stuttered.

Alice eased off.

"You're not allowed to use your gift to play pranks on unsuspecting humans." She gave one hard smack at the end to emphasise her point.

Jasper gasped, "No, ma'am. It won't happen again, ma'am."

"You are to set a good" Alice gave a hard smack on 'good', "example to your little brother."

"Yes, ma'am. I will try, ma'am."

"You are not" smack "allowed to risk drawing attention to our family." Alice added another couple of slaps this time.

Jasper whimpered before he managed to get his words out, "No, ma'am. It won't happen again, ma'am."

"I'm going to make sure of that," Alice said sternly.

Then she resumed spanking.

Jasper began to sob.

I had never heard Jasper crying before. He was surprisingly quiet and still. Only his shoulders shook as he gulped and sobbed into his arm.

Finally, Alice was done. After one final smack, she didn't raise her hand again. She left it on Jasper's still white but certainly very sore ass. I was amazed and impressed to see Alice turn her hand instantaneously from an implement of punishment to a source of comfort. As she'd struck Jasper, her hand had been something to fear, but, by not raising it again, by keeping it rested on his sore bottom, Alice had turned her hand back into a soothing reminder of her love. She kept physical contact with Jasper, reassuring him of her continued presence and support as he tried to compose himself again.

The shaking and whimpering continued for a while. We both listened as Jasper fought to regain control of his breathing.

Finally he said, "thank you, ma'am."

Then Alice replied, beginning to stroke her hand up and down his spine, "it's over, Jazz. Are you ready to get dressed?"

"Is Mrs Masen still there?" Jasper asked, in a very small voice. He sounded like a young child who's just woken up with a nightmare.

Still stroking, "yes, sweetheart, she's here."

His groan was almost completely stifled by his sleeve.

"There's not much point worrying about that now," Alice said briskly, "are you ready to get dressed?"

Jasper nodded against the desk, and began to scramble back into his clothes. He managed to fasten the fussy belt back up himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series. The following story contains characters that I didn't create and have no right to play with.

Author's Note: This story contains multiple references to disciplinary spanking.

Taking his time tugging his clothes back on, Jasper made soft gasping noises, like an infant, as the fabric rubbed against his skin. He gradually progressed from whimpers to sounds, muttering 'oh' and 'hm', as if he were learning to speak again. In time he regained mastery of his words. Fully dressed and keeping his eyes on the floor, he said, "is there anything else?" He was already on the balls of his feet, ready to run for the door the instant he was dismissed.

Alice sighed, "punishment's over, Jasper. You're forgiven. But, you'll have to face Bella sometime, Jazz. It may as well be now."

Jasper shuffled his feet together, wincing with every movement he made. He and I both watched the leather of his shoes crumple as he curled and uncurled his toes. We were equally reluctant to meet one another's gaze. He grimaced and practised moving his mouth around. Then he looked almost into my eyes and said – with controlled lips that moved as little as possible, "I hate that you saw me like that."

"Me too." I took my eyes off his mouth and made my own attempt to look him in the eye. It was hard.

I hated having this new image of Jasper to fit inside my head: vulnerable and beaten. I hated that I had this new image of Alice: unyielding and punishing. I hated that, when he was in the midst of a punishment session Jasper referred to me as 'Mrs Masen'. I hated that I knew that was what he did. It seemed wrong to have witnessed something so shameful and private, particularly when I knew that Jasper liked to keep his private life just that. It had been uncomfortable to watch and to hear; and I wished that it had taken place without my knowing anything about it.

On the other hand, I was glad that Alice had known what to do. I was so pleased to see that she took such gentle care of him. I loved Jasper; we were family. I was glad that if I ever again heard that Alice was going to spank him, I would know that she was going to do it with love. I was glad that I would be able to picture Alice wrapping her arms around his waist and assuring him that it would all be over soon. I hated that Jasper was spanked, but I was glad that it was Alice who did it. She was undeniably good at it.

Right now I tried to let Jasper know that I still respected him. Even if he looked like a toddler right now, I hadn't forgotten the man that I usually saw. I tried to fill my heart with all the respect and friendship that I felt for Jasper.

Remember Jasper demonstrating to the other vampires, and to the wolves, how to fight off a newborn. Remember Jasper by Alice's side running into the clearing and forcing the Volturi to abandon their fight against us. Remember Jasper hunting. Remember Jasper trying, so patiently, to teach me Italian.

I filled my mind with images of the grown-up Jasper, whom I so loved and respected. And I hoped that would fill my heart with love and respect that he could feel coming off me. I wanted Jasper to know that I still had those feelings for him, bucket-loads of those feelings. I wanted to give him respect and friendship in place of the pity that he must have felt from me during his time bent over his desk. I don't know if I was successful.

I do know that Jasper gave me a quick smile. "I did deserve it" he said ruefully.

"Do you think that Edward does?"

He winced, possibly at the remembrance of his recent pain, possibly at the thought of his little brother getting something similar. "Well, Alice did punish me in part for leading him astray. You can't give him that part of the spanking. But, apart from that, he was there alongside me."

"Whose idea was it?"

Jasper smirked now, looking like a cheeky school-boy. From infant, to toddler, to school-boy, he was gradually growing up and returning to his normal pre-spanking self. "I can't tell you that, Mrs Masen, that wouldn't be fair."

I turned to Alice instead, remembering her earlier promise to tell me if Edward missed anything out of his confession, "how much did Edward hold back?"

"He didn't volunteer much at all," she reminded me.

That was true. Jasper had been eager to confess; Edward had been just as eager to minimise his fault. Perhaps he was planning on giving me a full and frank confession in private. "I should go to him. He's been waiting long enough. But, um . . . thank you. You were right, I do feel ready to do it now."

Alice waved her hand in the exact same gesture she had used before I'd watched her spank her husband, "I'm a psychic," she said again, "I'm always sure."

I left Jasper carefully leaning against a door-frame, trying to look casual, but very obviously keeping his butt from touching anything. Alice was sat on his desk, swinging her legs and trying to interest him in a re-telling of every detail of the morning's shopping trip.

If you didn't look closely, you wouldn't notice anything strange about them. But, if you looked very hard, you would see that Jasper had carefully positioned himself so that his shadow was embracing Alice's. If she shifted, in her bouncing, swinging, physical story-telling, Jasper shifted too and made sure that his shadow never stopped touching hers.

Jasper and Alice weren't usually physically affectionate in public. I wondered how often Jasper made their shadows kiss because he would rather not be seen doing anything more private. I'm pretty sure that they were only waiting for me to leave the room before Alice gave Jasper a real kiss and a cuddle, and made him feel like he was her man again, and not her naughty little boy.

I walked up the stairs slowly, not looking forward to taking my turn at dolling out punishment. But, really, pretending to be a ghost and trying to scare a nurse in the hospital. It was ridiculous.

We had all noticed that Carlisle was unhappy about this latest member of staff. All the nurses flirted with him, but she seemed to be really trying to start a relationship. She had shown an interest in his family. She had consoled him (though I cannot imagine that he ever wanted consoling) on Esme's apparent inability to understand his working life. She had taken time to find out the sorts of concerts that he liked to attend and she repeatedly 'bumped into him' there. She wasn't another nurse giggling and smiling over the charts. She was really trying to forge a bond that might lead to stealing him away from Esme.

Of course we'd noticed and of course we were all a little annoyed. We all had some sympathy for Carlisle as he tried to remain solidly polite and solidly discouraging. We all had some sympathy for Esme as she continually relied on her trust of her husband to stop her defending him from these insidious advances. But, one of the reasons the whole family was so sympathetic was the fact that we all recognised what was going on. It happened to us all from time to time. The vampire-charm was sometimes too good and resulted in humans being a little bit too interested in us. It went with the territory.

Edward and Jasper knew that. They knew that Carlisle wasn't going to actually do anything with this woman. They knew that her attempts to woo him were a temporary annoyance and nothing more. They knew that they should have just left it alone.

They certainly knew that they shouldn't have interfered so childishly. What on earth was Edward thinking? Telling ghost stories was silly. It was so close to revealing our inhuman nature. Why would he do something like that? Pretending to be a ghost, indeed! Wasn't he dead enough already? Wasn't it enough to be a vampire; did he also want to be a ghoul?

Such a ridiculous way to spend the morning, and now I was forced to spend the afternoon impressing upon him the seriousness of what he'd done. We'd been lucky this time, it seemed. Carlisle had intervened and the whole thing was likely to disappear. But, this sort of 'joke' was exactly the sort of thing that could lead to our discovery.

After all, hadn't I found out about Edward because I wanted to date him? Granted, Edward was single. But, apart from that minor detail, how different was this nurse to me? If I had figured Edward's secret out with just a car-crash and Jacob's stories as evidence; then Edward himself walking around stirring up interest in the Cullens and the supernatural was quite likely to cause trouble.

Aro was desperate for a good excuse to condemn the Cullens. Edward must be persuaded not to give him one. To keep the family safe, this sort of thing mustn't happen again. I steeled myself for what I was about to do. It was not going to be pleasant, but this was how I would keep my family, and my daughter, safe.

When I got to Edward's old room he was lying on his back on the couch listening to music and fiddling with some wooden puzzle that he'd picked up to entertain Renesmee last time we'd been in the mall. The puzzle consisted of a metal ring on a piece of rope that was thread and wound around a carefully shaped bit of wood. The idea was to remove the ring from the rope (without, obviously, breaking any of the pieces). It was a chunky toy, and solving it involved a neat sequence of movements.

Having just come from watching Major Whitlock accepting discipline, I couldn't ignore the contrast. Where Jasper had stood to attention and silently awaited Alice, Edward was fiddling and entertaining himself. Where Jasper had been nervous, Edward was relaxed, and possibly bored.

"Edward," I said, hoping to get his attention and remind him to adopt a more suitable posture.

He smiled at me, still fiddling with the toy. "You took your time. Is everything sorted out downstairs or do I have to hide out for another hour or so?"

"What?" I couldn't understand this attitude, how could he be so blasé? "Edward, you're in serious trouble."

He frowned at the ceiling, "I thought that you'd agreed with everyone that you were going to 'talk to me'."

"I am going to 'talk to you'. But, that doesn't mean a pleasant chat while you fiddle with children's toys and listen to Chopin. Alice just spanked Jasper for his part in what you were doing this morning."

If I had hoped to shock and awe Edward with my reference to spanking, I was disappointed. His first reaction was to do absolutely nothing at all. He put the ring neatly back onto the rope.

Finally, Edward sat up and looked at me, "Bella, you don't have to hit me, if that's what you're thinking. The agreement was quite clear: you can deal with me at your discretion and the rest of the family consider the matter closed. I already know that what we did was silly. I promise not to do it again. There, problem solved. Well done for recognising the Chopin, by the way."

He began to twist and turn the wooden object again, and I cracked, "give me that thing! You don't appear to be taking this very seriously, Edward. You and Jasper made a bad choice this morning. You risked exposing all of us, even your own daughter. And you needlessly and cruelly frightened a nurse at the hospital. Do you really think that it would be fair for Jasper to receive a beating and you to get off scot-free?"

Edward looked longingly at the toy I'd confiscated, more concerned for his empty hands than his doomed butt. "Just because Alice physically attacks her husband, doesn't mean that you have to do the same. We're not Alice and Jasper. I don't think that you should feel obliged to give me a spanking, just because Jasper lets Alice give him one. If you would feel better about it, you could scold me for a few minutes."

I was fed up. This was absurd. I came up here to punish Edward, which wasn't something that I was looking forward to doing, because Carlisle had assured me that Edward would far rather take a punishment from me than from anyone else. I decided not to let any more nonsense go on. It was time to get serious.

"Edward, you risked the family secret getting found out and so put all of us in danger. You were thoughtless and unkind. Now I am going to smack your bottom, so pull down your pants and bend over the back of the couch so that we can get this over with."

There was a long pause as Edward processed what I was saying. Then he stood up, looked directly at me and said "no."

Alice didn't have this problem with Jasper! What was I supposed to do now?

"I told you to bend over, please do so."

"Make me." Edward's eyes smouldered with black fury. But his lips were twisted into a taunt.

What did he think I was going to do, wrestle him to the ground?

I had no intention of physically forcing him to strip and bend over. That sounded more like a fight than a punishment session.

The family all agreed that Edward needed punishing. Why was he resisting? He'd attended the same family meeting as me. He'd heard his family all agreeing that he required 'consequences'. He must have overheard Alice and Jasper in Jasper's study. He knew that his partner-in-crime had just been spanked. Why wasn't he complying?

What on earth was everyone else going to think of me? Carlisle had expressed so much trust and faith in me. Esme had sent her beloved son upstairs with me, trusting that I would be able to handle him. What did Jasper and Alice's marriage have that ours lacked? Why did they slot so easily into their roles, where we fought and rubbed painfully against each other?

Where did this adolescent defiance come from? This wasn't the Edward that I knew. My Edward was loving and gentle with me, always. My Edward was eager, sometimes even desperate to please me. He had never been openly scornful before.

We had been through so many things together. Our relationship had weathered so many storms. How could this little thing be threatening to tear us apart? How could he be so angry with me about this? This wasn't death or taking away someone's soul. This wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

"It's only a spanking; what are you getting so worked up about?"

He glared at me, "it's not going to happen, Bella. You're my wife. I refuse to let you do that to me."

I should have left this to Carlisle. He was Edward's father. If anyone had the right to demand that Edward submit to a punishment, it was Carlisle. It wasn't me.

This was getting out of hand. Edward, my Edward, was stood across the room from me, his hands fisted by his sides, his eyes murderous, his mouth set in one small, furious line. I took a step forward and reached out to put my hand on his arm to soothe him.

"Edward," I began gently. I meant to suggest that we both sat down, like we would have done as humans, and talked this situation over.

But, instead of responding to my overture with a loving relaxation of his own, Edward hissed at me like a wild thing. He barred his teeth and lowered his shoulders. He bent his knees and sank into a crouch. It wasn't a new movement from Edward, it was well-practised, and I had seen him do this many times before. I had never seen him do it with me as the object. He was preparing to attack.

I had seen him do this to Victoria. I had seen that cold, watchful look in his eyes. I had seen him search his enemy for weakness before. Now I was his enemy. I had seen him crouch before. I had seen him spring and tear off Victoria's head. Edward was dangerous. I knew that. I just never expected to think of him as being a danger to me.

Now that I was a vampire like him, my own instincts were kicking in, and they were telling me to look out. All of a sudden, the whole situation had taken a very nasty turn. Edward was a strong, skilled vampire, with many, many more years battle experience than I had. And he was squaring up for a fight.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series. For some twisted reason of my own, I wrote this.

Warning: this story will possibly contain spanking (it depends on what Bella does next . . .)

I backed out of the room slowly.

This was absurd. Edward had actually looked like he was considering attacking me. Mind you, a vampire doesn't normally _consider _attacking anything. They either attack or they don't. Edward had crouched and he had fixed a predatory stare on me, but he hadn't pounced.

If he'd meant to attack, then I wouldn't have had a chance to consider my next move. I would have been fighting tooth and nail before I'd really registered his anger.

No, he can't have really planned on attacking. He just wanted it to look that way, brat.

None the less, I'd gone in to spank him, and I was backing out slowly, afraid to turn my back on my own husband's teeth. That did not go well.

I shut the door to his room, as if I could thus hide the shameful failure of my attempt to hand out Cullen-style discipline. Of course, the rest of the family would probably have heard every word that we said, though they might choose to pretend that they hadn't. Alice would probably have seen everything that we did, though she might have tried to give us some privacy. The Cullens didn't really understand the concept of private moments.

Slowly, I continued to back away from the door, some deep instinct warning me that a wooden door was no reason to turn my vulnerable back. He could come through it as easily closed as open, should he choose to attack.

I backed straight into Rosalie. The jolt shocked me, and reminded me that I wasn't really a threatened animal.

I turned around to apologise.

Rose was grinning broadly, "how did Eddie's first spanking from his wife go?"

My stomach sank, "it didn't really. He refused to let me spank him, and then he hissed at me."

It didn't look as though Rosalie had been listening to us. She blinked a couple of times, "oh," she said, "that's slightly surprising. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go and tell Carlisle that he was wrong. Edward doesn't want me to discipline him. He will probably react better to Carlisle."

Rosalie chewed the inside of her cheek, stopping herself from speaking. She grabbed my hand and tugged gently.

With a shrug I followed her into her own room.

"Bella," Rose whispered, once we were alone, "can you stop Edward reading my mind for a bit?"

I nodded. The Cullens were careful, after an initial flurry of delight and some dubious use, not to exploit my ability to block Edward. And, now that they weren't likely to be messing about, I tended to give them privacy for the asking. Usually, it was as much of a relief for Edward as it was for anyone else.

"Right," Rose whispered, after a short pause. I think that she thought of my shield as a kind of cloak, which it took me a few seconds to tug into place. "You can't go and get Carlisle. If he punishes Edward, then you are going to find it all kinds of hard to make Edward submit to you ever again. This is one of those incidents that sets the tone for your marriage. Do you really want Edward to walk all over you?"

"No, but, I don't want him scared of me either."

She frowned and shook her head, "he doesn't threaten people he's scared of! Do you think that hissing at you ought to win an argument? If it works once, then he's going to try it again and again."

It was my turn to frown. Of course I didn't want Edward to win arguments by assuming a threatening posture.

"Did you actually say that you were going to spank him?"

I thought back, my exact words had been: 'Edward, you risked the family secret getting found out and so put all of us in danger. You were thoughtless and unkind. Now I am going to smack your bottom, so pull down your pants and bend over the back of the couch so that we can get this over with.' I nodded to Rosalie, yes, I had actually said that.

"And he said?"

"He said 'no'. Then I repeated my request and he said 'make me'."

Rosalie giggled. "Make me?" she repeated. "Well, in that case I know exactly what you should do."

"What?"

"Look, Edward is being stubborn. Believe me, I know stubborn from the inside out. He wants to challenge you and get this into a battle. All you have to do is to stay absolutely calm and wait. He knows perfectly well what he deserves."

"It was just a stupid prank."

"And you're only planning on giving him a simple spanking for it. Edward is the one who's making this into a drama, not you."

"So, you think that I should just go back, sit down and wait for him to agree?"

She weighed this up in her mind, tipping her head one way and then the other as she mused over the exact plan. "No," she said, "if you just wait, then he's got away with all the rudeness and the aggression. I think that you should tell him that his behaviour so far has earned a second spanking, which you are going to give him tomorrow morning. Then you should wait for him to submit to this one. I also think that you should take a book; you may have to wait a while."

"But, Carlisle . . ."

Just as Alice had earlier in the day, Rosalie interrupted me, "would spank him for you. But, you'd never be able to punish him yourself. Do you want to have to run to Carlisle every time? Do you really think that's what Edward wants? Jasper takes his cues from his mate. Emmett takes his from me. Do you think that Edward really wants an authoritative eternal-father rather than a mate who holds him accountable? He may find it hard, but does that mean that he doesn't want to grow up?"

I sighed. How did Rosalie manage to twist it so that spanking Edward was the kindest thing to do? Now I felt that if I backed down and asked Carlisle to step in, I would be failing Edward. He needed a strong wife if he was going to be a strong husband. He couldn't finish growing and maturing if I sent him straight back over his daddy's knee.

She saw me leaning towards agreement and added, "just tell him that nothing – and I mean _nothing_ – will happen until he has taking his punishment. Eventually, he will have to give in."

I took a deep breath and Rosalie grinned, "good luck," she said, "oh, hang on. I was saving this for Christmas, but I think that, given the circumstances, I'd rather give it to you now," she delved into her closet and pulled out a velvet bag, which she tossed towards me.

I caught it and tugged it open (it was a sort of family joke that my presents should always be inside gift bags or gift boxes, and never wrapped in paper). Inside was a new book.

No amount of stress could stop the grin spreading over my face, "thanks, Rose, this looks great."

She gave me a cheerful nod.

Now I was ready.

I returned to Edward's old room, wondering what I would find. I hadn't heard any smashing, but that didn't mean that he hadn't broken anything. It only meant that any damage had been quietly carried out. I half-expected to see torn sheets and ripped novels having borne the brunt of his anger in my absence.

I was wrong. He hadn't attacked anything in my stead. He had abandoned his vampire-anger and resumed his teenage languor. He was lying on the couch again, playing with another one of those wooden puzzles.

How many of those things did he have?

The rest of the family had been happy enough to solve them once, and had then lost all interest. Edward continued to fiddle with them, moving his long fingers through the same motions again and again, as if this were just another instrument that he had learned to play.

I watched his fingers for a while, admiring the way he moderated his strength. Really, he had amazing self-control.

"You shouldn't have threatened me," I told him, "it wasn't nice or reasonable. Now, I'm going to give you one final chance. If you are not bent over that couch, with your backside bare, by the time I count to five, then I am going to give you a second spanking tomorrow morning."

Edward didn't respond. He calmly continued to play with his toy.

"One."

He began to hum quietly. His composure was so studied that it was offensive. How could he think that I would be fooled into thinking that he was calm, just because he was humming?

"Two."

Still, Edward lay there, his legs were unnaturally still, so that I couldn't convince myself that he was making the slightest movement to obey me.

"Three."

Finally he looked at me, a pitying glance, as if he couldn't believe that I was bothering to count.

"Four."

Was it worth trying the old parent trick of halves and quarters? Not really; Edward was fast. If he suddenly decided to move, he could be over the couch between the 'fi' and the 've'.

"Five."

He didn't move. My stomach folded in half.

I sighed, "alright, then, we will have to repeat this sorry scene tomorrow morning. I'm sorry that it's going to take so much to teach you to accept your punishments. It doesn't change anything now, however, I have every intention of spanking you. I will wait right here until you get into position."

Having made my ghastly pronouncement, I tried to conceal my own distress with a bit of stage-business, I picked up my phone and pressed one of the speed-dial numbers.

She picked up instantly. First there was a hissed 'Emmett, get off', then, aloud, saying my name more for Emmett's benefit than by way of greeting, "Bella, how are things?"

"This is going to take longer than I'd hoped. Will you get Renesmee back from Jacob and put her to bed?"

"Of course, Bella. You know that I welcome any excuse to spend more time with my favourite niece!"

"Thanks Rose, bye."

Favourite niece – another silly joke covering up a real pain. Renesmee was Rosalie's only niece. Not only that, she was the closest that Rosalie would ever have to a child. It was strange and unfair the way that things had worked out. I, who had never really wanted children, had a miracle baby, and Rosalie, who had never wanted anything else, couldn't.

Had I known before Renesmee was conceived that such a thing was possible, I would have offered to act as a surrogate. I could have had Emmett's baby, maybe even using Rosalie's eggs, if they were still there, frozen in her undying body. But, I hadn't known, and we didn't do that.

Instead I had a miracle baby and, since it almost killed me, it was a one-time only thing. Still, another child wouldn't have been Renesmee. I could no longer imagine a world without her in it, so things must be as they should.

At least Renesmee had a huge family to love and spoil her. I was glad that she had her Aunt Rosalie in her life. Rosalie knew more about babies than the rest of us put together. While I marvelled at Renesmee's taste for Austen and the Brontë's and Edward span old fairy tales into long rivers of princesses and magic, Rosalie read her 'Where the Wild Things Are' and continued to turn the pages of 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' after the whole family had learnt it by heart.

Edward built an old-fashioned wooden swing in the garden. Esme baked cakes from centuries-old recipes. Together they created for Renesmee a childhood that they would recognise. But Rosalie knew about bouncing seats that could be hung on door-frames, and beds that were made to look like castles. She knew all the latest toys and fads and she always knew where to find them.

Whilst her family had been getting on with pretending to be human, only Rosalie had really watched what human families did. Without anyone else noticing, she had built up an encyclopedic knowledge of children. She must have been more surprised than anyone at Renesmee's rapid development, yet it was still Rosalie who knew which toy would capture her interest next.

Emmett and Alice enjoyed creating a childhood for themselves when they played with Renesmee, each new thing that she found, they explored with her. It was like they were sharing her first time as a child. But Rosalie seemed to know it all already. At just the right moment she produced cotton reels to string, then moved on to lacing cards. When Renesmee's motor skills were advanced enough, Rosalie had crayons, then pencils, ready for her to use. While Emmett and Alice followed Renesmee's journey through childhood, Rosalie was always ahead, always ready with the next experience.

Though it was me who had been most recently human, and Carlisle who knew human anatomy and development best, it was Rosalie who knew how to create a human childhood. My daughter was surrounded with werewolves and vampires, psychics and telepaths and empaths, but Rosalie still managed to fill her days with the experiences of human children.

We were all lucky to have Rosalie, especially Renesmee.

Whilst I'd been musing about my sister-in-law, I had been pretending to read. Well, I was a vampire now and I could do several things at once, so I had been turning pages and letting the words seep into my mind, whilst I thought about Rosalie. Now I turned my head as I turned a page and sneaked a glance at Edward.

He was still lying on his couch. He was still holding his toy in his hands, but he wasn't playing with it anymore. He was motionless as a statue. He was thinking.

He must be battling with his own pride. He nursed his pride as if it were another child. He must be trying to work out what his next move ought to be. He must be considering whether there was any neat way out of this situation. He must be wondering if he could get through this without losing face.

Eventually, after more than two hours thinking time, Edward got up, walked over to the couch, tugged his jeans down to his knees and bent stiffly over.

"Your underpants too," I said. He hadn't forgotten, he just wanted to see if I would compromise

He groaned, but he complied, pushing them down to meet his jeans.

The cruel part of me wanted to say 'and now, I'll keep you waiting for two hours', but I loved him still, so I walked over and stood by his side.

"Edward, you made a bad choice this morning. Can you tell me what got you into this situation?"

"Marrying you," he replied angrily.

I almost laughed, but instead I swatted his backside twice. Once for each stupid word.

Edward gasped at the first swat and said "ow!" irritably at the second.

"Try again," I said with all the sternness I could find.

"I played a trick on a nurse at the hospital. You seem to think that I might have made her suspicious, though, being able to read people's minds, I can be pretty sure that I didn't! You also seem to think that she might have been distressed, though I think that I would have noticed that too."

It was a terrible confession. But, I remembered how Alice had given her lecture halfway through Jasper's punishment, and I decided to do the same.

"That'll do for now," I said.

I landed one swat on each buttock cheek, then one in the centre.

Edward didn't move, but he grunted in annoyance and said, "Bella, that really hurt."

I repeated the three swats and he said, "Bella, stop it!"

I frowned and sped up. After another six swats Edward groaned, "ooooww!"

He still sounded angry, as though his pain was due to some whim of mine, rather than the consequence of his own stupid behaviour. His hands dug into the couch and he held stiffly still, as though he was merely enduring some tantrum of mine.

I remembered something that I'd once heard and I began to smack rapidly, concentrating on one small area of his bottom. I struck the lover half of his left cheek repeatedly.

At first he moaned at this new style, saying "Bella, stop doing that!"

But, then he went quiet. The only sound was my hand connecting with Edward's bare and vulnerable rear.

I kept going. It was like archaeology, I chipped away at the layers of pride that had built up, trying to reach the guilt and shame, that I knew he must feel after this morning.

Finally, he broke the silence, "Sorry," he said, and once that one word was out, he broke into sobs, letting go of the couch and burying his head in his hands.

"So-o-orry. Ah-I was st-stupid and mmmmeannnn. I-I put-t-t-t usssssss allll at risssssk."

I paused.

"You know that inviting people to make connections between you and the supernatural world is dangerous?"

He gulped and stuttered out "yessss, am so-or-ry."

"Upsetting that woman and deliberately frightening her, was unkind and ungentlemanly."

"Am sorreeeee." Edward whimpered again.

"Anything else?" I asked, realising that I still hadn't heard much in the way of a confession.

Edward shook his head violently. Perhaps he simply couldn't bear to talk about it.

"Alright, I'm going to make sure that you don't do it again."

He sobbed, "yesss," he agreed, "sorrrrry."

I broke pattern and began to distribute my smacks around the rest of his bottom, evening up the pain he felt all over.

My hand was sore by the time I finished, but it probably wasn't as sore as Edward's butt. He was slumped over the couch now, letting it take his weight and hold him up. He had given up trying to be quiet and was wailing miserably into his hands.

When it was over, I tried to leave my hand on his buttock, but it didn't feel soothing or comforting. It felt hot and horrible. I moved my hand, stroking up his back and found it resting in his hair, mussing it up.

"It's over, baby, it's over." I soothed him.

"Be-ll-a," Edward muttered out between swallowing sobs, so I had to concentrate to understand him, "i-t wassss m-y idea-ah. I p-p-persua-aded Jassssper to doooo it-t-t."

Why did he wait until now to tell me? His punishment was over.

Had he confessed before, or even during, his spanking, I know that I would have given him a handful of extra swats just for this. But, what was I supposed to do now? I'd finished spanking him; should I start again, finish the business while he was still in position?

Edward was still crying into his hands. He was well-spanked. He didn't need any more pain right now. Should I just tell him it was all okay: he'd taken his punishment, it was all over now?

But, poor Jasper had taken the same punishment. Jasper had confessed fully, and he hadn't given up his little brother. Surely, if Alice had made Jasper take a spanking in public to atone for setting Edward a bad example, I couldn't do nothing when Edward admitted that it had all originated with him in the first place?

He was already going to have to take another spanking tomorrow morning, should I add a third spanking to his schedule?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own no rights to the 'Twilight' series: books or movies. But, I've got a hard drive full of novels that I have written, and Stephanie Meyer doesn't own the rights to those. That makes us sort of even.

"You should have told me that earlier. I did ask you if you had anything else to say."

Edward's voice was muffled by his hands. "S-ry, Bella," he whimpered, "I was s-s-till crossss at being spanked."

Poor boy. His backside was sore and his pride was even sorer. An extra smattering of smacks for coming up with the idea would only serve to make him angry with me again. He would see it as kicking a man who was already down. I'd ask for a proper confession tomorrow, before the second round, and I'd let him have something for getting Jasper into trouble then. A few smacks thrown into the middle of a spanking session wouldn't be anywhere near as hard to take as a few extra smacks now, when he'd endured a whole thrashing and thought that it was finished. For now, it should be over.

"You should get dressed again," I said. I helped him to pull up his underpants and his jeans, we both winced as the clothes made contact with his sensitised skin.

I sat on the couch and Edward lay down on his stomach with his head on his arms, which he rested on my lap. I stroked his hair softly.

"Are you alright?"

"A bit sore, but I think that's to be expected. I feel like I ought to be asking you: are _you_ alright?"

"A bit sad, but I think that's to be expected," I deliberately mimicked his line.

"I am sorry for behaving like such a child."

"I love you, anyway."

"Bella, I promise, if you ever have to punish me like that again I will co-operate. I will make it easier on you next time."

"Tomorrow," I reminded him, "I hope that you'll make it easier on me tomorrow."

There was a slight shift in Edward's body and in his mood. He shuffled up slightly so that he could look me in the eye, and I felt some of his defensiveness return. "You're not really going to do that, are you? I did what you asked. I bent over and let you spank me. Why should you do it all again tomorrow? You've already punished me."

I sighed, "I told you, Edward, and I don't believe that you've forgotten what I said. You were given to the count of five to obey me, and you refused. That's how you earned a second spanking. Of course I'm going to go through with it. Why would I say something that I wasn't going to do?"

There was a pause, while Edward prepared his next line of attack.

Then he looked at me with his sweetest eyes and said, in his softest voice, "I'll still be sore tomorrow morning. It will hurt me, Bella."

It wasn't fair. I already hated myself for hurting him. I already hated myself for planning on hurting him further. It wasn't fair of him to look so young and sorry for himself.

"Please, baby," I said, "just be good this time, so that we can draw a line under the whole sorry incident."

We lapsed into silence for a while. Edward plotting ways to avoid tomorrow's session, and me wondering if I was going to end up having to do it all again the day after.

Finally, I knew that we would have to move and I said, "we should check on Renesmee."

At exactly the same time, Edward said, "we need to see our daughter."

We looked at each other and grinned. It was nice to know that we were still – in regards to some things, at least – on the same wave-length.

Edward got up, and I had a twinge of guilt when I saw him using the couch to help himself stand. Nonetheless, he offered me his hand, and helped me to my feet. It was unnecessary, of course, and it probably didn't make his butt any less painful when he stretched down like that. But, Edward needed to be a gentleman and he needed to take care of me. Right now, having been spanked like a child, he needed to make a gesture to remind us both that he was a man who could take care of his wife. He helped me up, and I thanked him.

Downstairs, Jasper and Alice were lying on the floor on their stomachs with a Mancala game between them. It was a heavy set made of dark wood and polished pebbles. Jasper was taking his turn and Alice was holding the pebbles that belonged in her store, running them over her knuckles and around her fingers, displaying a sleight-of-hand that the magic circle would die for. I wondered idly what it was with vampires and fiddling. What was it about their kind – I should say 'our kind' – that made them pick things up and play with them all the time? Perhaps it's to do with the way the vampire mind functions: so many things going on in parallel, it can be soothing to make one of those things pleasantly repetitive.

Back in the cottage, Emmett and Rose were in the living room, watching TV with a video baby monitor next to them, just like any other pair of baby-sitters. I think that Rose was probably paying more attention to the baby monitor than the TV, since she'd allowed Emmett to put on one of those comedy soaps that he loves.

"She went to sleep easily," Rosalie said as soon as I walked in. "She had a bottle, a bath, a few stories, and she fell asleep in her crib."

I grinned, "thanks, Rose."

"She's been wriggling a lot, but she hasn't woken," Rose added, "and she hasn't managed to kick her quilt off yet." Idly, fiddling like a vampire, Rose began to trace patterns on the palm of Emmett's hand. He smiled a bit and pressed himself close against her, laying his hand in her lap, palm up, so that she could continue her patterns onto his wrist and arm.

I didn't want Rose and Emmett to feel that they had to leave, so I sat down on the other couch.

Edward hesitated next to me. Then Emmett gave him a knowing look, "are you going to stand up all night then, Eddie?" he smirked.

Edward was not amused. In an attempt to look less like a sore-bottomed little boy, he rather dramatically threw himself back onto the couch. The cushions sagged under the force of him and I silently thanked heaven that Esme had enough experience of buying furniture for vampires to have found us a couch that could bear Edward throwing himself at it.

He tried hard and he managed to keep his face serene. But, Edward couldn't completely conceal his pain, he clenched his hands into tight fists. Considering the wincing he'd done when he'd fastened his jeans, that little show of bravado must have been pretty rough.

Emmett took in Edward's face, and his fists, then he grinned again, "my mistake," he said, "I thought that you might be a little out of sorts tonight, Eddie. But, since you are so obviously fine and dandy, do you fancy a bit of a moonlit wrestling match?"

"Don't be stupid, Emmett," Rosalie stepped in, "you'd wake the baby. Now, I know that you think you're funny, but nobody else is amused, so please just drop it." To show her displeasure, she stopped stroking his arm.

Emmett wriggled his fingers, but he couldn't get Rose's attention back on his hand. "It's a big day for, Eddie, though, he's become a real husband. We should be celebrating. Jasper and I are going on a hunting trip tomorrow; come with us and we'll recreate your stag night!"

Edward growled, "can't," he said shortly.

"Come on, Eddie. We're not leaving till the morning. You'll have all night to make up to Bella. You can't seriously prefer to hang around here, getting disappointed looks, when you could be out having fun with your brothers."

Of course, Edward couldn't go anywhere tomorrow morning but he wouldn't want to explain that to Emmett. I figured it was time to run a bit of interference. "Why don't you put on one of those video games you like?"

Edward glared at me. Ah, clearly one thing worse than being teased by your big brother was being defended by your wife. I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Shut up, Emmett," he said, "if you call me 'Eddie' one more time, you'll be sorry."

"Lighten up . . . Ed." Giving up on getting Rose to resume tickling him, Emmett tried initiating contact instead. He began to trace patterns on her thighs, darting towards the centre and away again.

Rosalie sighed, "I'll take him home," she said. Emmett's hand stroked a line between her knees and she smirked at him. "Come on Emmett, let me make sure that you have something to miss whilst you're away."

She stood up and Emmett sprang up after her. At the door, he turned back and said, "seriously, that whole think was really funny. Putting red dye in her creamer – classic! Classic! Sorry you got caught."

He might have said more, but Rosalie began to walk away and Emmett ran after her.

"Red dye?" I didn't know enough about what my husband had been doing this morning. I was definitely getting a proper confession tomorrow.

Edward grimaced, "it was quite an elaborate prank. It seemed funny at the time. And, it might still prove effective."

Just then, there was a noise from the baby monitor. Renesmee gave a soft growl in her sleep. I turned to look at the picture and saw our baby, lying on her back, eyes closed and lips curled into a very Jacobean snarl. She spent so much time around the wolves that snarling was her second language. She was a lot cuter than Jake, though. Her growl made her nose wrinkle up adorably.

In response, I felt my own lips smiling, and my hand reaching for Edward's. "She's beautiful," I said.

He laughed, "even when she growls, she's beautiful. Do you want to sneak into her room and look at the real thing?"

Sneaking around with Edward? How could I refuse? "We'll have to be really quiet" I said, trying out a conspiratorial grin. Edward winked back at me.

Hand in hand we tip-toed up the stairs and slipped into our baby daughter's room. I don't think that anything could have been more magical and beautiful than standing with my husband's hand in mine watching our baby sleep. I leaned into Edward, and felt his body – soft around me, now that I was as durable as him – curl to hold me.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: This is not how it goes in the 'Twilight' series. That's because a different person wrote those stories.

Warning: this story contains spanking and discussions thereof. Enjoy!

We had a quiet night. Edward was still more comfortable on his front than his back. I picked up a book to read, while I ran my toes up and down the backs of his legs. When it became clear that we weren't going to be creating any more adult memories, he got up and wandered downstairs to play his piano.

He was still playing when Renesemee woke. I could hear the beginings of a new song being tried out while I changed her and got her dressed. She was still tired, and her eyes kept closing again. I knew, though, that if I tried to suggest that she went back to bed, she would suddenly be wide awake and furious. Nothing woke Renesmee up quite so quickly and completely as being told it was time for bed.

The piano kept going back over the same section of the piece. Edward had an opening phrase that he liked, but he kept trying new ways of continuing the song. I wondered if this was going to be Renesmee's Song. Esme had one, I had one, he must be planning on writing one for his daughter.

"Sad music," Renesmee said, tipping her head on one side to listen.

I was surprised. "It sounds beautiful to me," I said, wondering where Renesmee had heard sorrow. Edward had chosen a minor key, and that did bring the song into a rather sombre place.

The pianist heard us and the music changed, switching to a cheerful honky-tonk tune and making my little girl giggle. "Now the piano is happy!" she said.

"That's because Daddy is tickling it," I told her, tickling her feet for effect.

She was still giggling when we came downstairs.

Edward smiled at his daughter when I brought her into the lounge, but he avoided looking at me. She ran over and climbed up next to him.

"Make it cry again," she demanded.

He grinned and played a sorrowful tune.

"Make it laugh."

Again, Edward played the style of music she demanded. I went into the kitchen to prepare some scrambled eggs and a cup of warm milk.

While I stirred the eggs, Renesmee demanded a whole range of emotions, and Edward complied, changing his tune for her.

"Make the piano miaow like a cat, Daddy!" I heard Renesmee say.

The music stopped for a bit and a laugh escaped my lips. Edward liked his daughter to see him as this amazing omnipotent being, who could do anything she could imagine. I wondered whether he was going to tell her that pianos can't sound like cats.

Instead, there was a patter of heavy feet running upstairs, then back down, followed by a very cat-like noise. It couldn't be the piano, though, what on earth was he doing in there?

The eggs were done, so I made up a breakfast tray for Renesmee and carried it through to the lounge, where I saw Edward with a violin, showing Renesmee how to make it sound like a cat.

She was ecstatic.

"I want to hear your tiger instrument next, Daddy!"

"Well, you'll have to wait, it's breakfast time right now." I settled the tray on her lap and myself on Edward's lap. He seemed surprised that I would want to snuggle up to him, I think that he had expected to remain at arm's length until he was finished sulking. He didn't push me away, though. He let me rest my head on his shoulder, and we both watched Renesmee eat.

"I didn't know you played the violin."

"Well, I prefer the piano."

When Renesmee had eaten, we returned to the main house. Esme was in the garden and Renesmee, ran over to 'help' her with the flowers.

"Why don't I watch her for a little while, and let you two have a bit of time alone?"

Just before I could thank her, Edward replied, "that's alright, we'd rather stay."

I frowned at him. Did he think that he could avoid completing our business from the day before just by hanging around with Renesmee all day?

"Come on, Edward, I'd really like some time alone."

He shook his head, "later, Bella. Don't you think we ought to spend a little bit of time with our daughter? Jacob had her yesterday afternoon, Rose and Emmett babysat in the evening and put her to bed. She's barely been up an hour and you already want to pass her over to Esme."

When he put it like that, I couldn't say no. Obviously there was nothing more important that spending time with our daughter. We could conclude yesterday's unpleasant business later. First we should play with our daughter.

I helped Esme to make a garland of roses for Renesmee's head. Once we'd done that, of course, she insisted that we make more garlands for ourselves. Adorned with roses, Rensemee scowled.

"Why the frown? Flower Princesses aren't supposed to frown."

"I wanted to give a flower-crown to Daddy."

"Well, then we shall make a flower-crown for Daddy. I'm sure he'll wear it to please you." I looked around for Edward's agreement and realised that he'd gone.

"He slipped away while you were scattering petals," Esme told me, "you seemed rather engrossed. I expect that's why he didn't say goodbye."

I sighed, "I already know why he didn't say anything. I should go and track him down."

"Very well, dear, you can leave Renesmee with me, if you're happy to. She seems to be having so much fun."

"Thank you, Esme. Be good, sweetie, I'll see you soon."

I set off back to the cottage, hoping that would be where I'd find Edward.

It wasn't, but I did find Alice.

"He went out with Emmett, so I sent Jasper to fetch him back," she said, "interfering, I know, and he'll be annoyed with me. But, it would take you ages to track him, and until this incident is fully dealt with, we'll all have a black cloud hanging over our heads. Do you mind?"

"I'm grateful. I can't believe he used our daughter to distract me, so he could run away."

"I can. It sounds like a rather Edwardian thing to do. Try not to be too angry with him. He gets frightened when he's upset you. It's hard for him to know what he ought to be doing."

"He ought to be quietly accepting his punishment, since he behaved so badly yesterday!"

"I know."

Alice, who has a terrible soft-spot for Edward's childish antics, kept trying to calm me down. She told me that Edward would be unhappy and frightened and that I shouldn't believe his stupid bravado. I didn't absolutely believe her, but she did wear me down a little before Jasper dragged Edward back home.

I didn't lay in to him the instant that Jasper came through the door, pulling Edward after him by the ear.

"I think this belongs to you, Mrs Masen."

Edward was frowning and trying to writhe out of Jasper's grip.

"When exactly are you planning on releasing me?"

"When your wife tells me to." He looked at me, "may I release him, ma'am?"

On my nod, Jasper let go and Edward staggered backwards.

"I ought to have offerred to do this before," Jasper continued, addressing me, "but, I was rather pre-occupied yesterday. Since, I'm the only one of our family who has actually punished Edward before, would you like me to demonstrate?"

I stared at him.

"You're offerring to spank Edward."

"Under your supervision, ma'am. I thought you might like to see how I did it."

Edward scowled, "please, Bella, please. I will be good, I swear. This should be a private matter between you and me."

"Yesterday you promised that you would co-operate with future punishments. This morning you ran away. Jasper is offerring to help me, and I think that I need that help."

Edward was furious, "that's ridiculous! We were both involved in the same prank! Jasper gets a couple of swats from his wife. I get a full spanking from you and then another one from him! It makes no sense. How can he spank me for something that he did as well? Bella, this won't be any kind of fair punishment, it will just be you demanding that I let Jasper beat me for no reason at all."

I was sobbing, dry vampire sobs. Jasper, however, was completely unaffected.

"That's enough, Edward," he said in a calm level tone, "you may find yourself a corner to stand in, while I talk to your wife."

"This is my house!" Edward yelled, "dammit, I will not be sent to stand in a corner like a naughty child."

Jasper strod over to him and leant down to whisper something in his ear. Edward's fight disappeared, his shoulders sagged and his mouth slammed closed. He walked over to the corner, with his head bowed down. Then he stood, just like a naughty child, with his nose in the corner and his hands behind his back.

I was suspicious, "what did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything, ma'am. I reminded him what I used to do when he mouthed off in discipline sessions."

"What did you do then?"

"I washed his mouth out with soap."

"Oh."

"Come and sit down, Bella, we should talk." He sat down in a small chair and gestured for me to sit opposite, we were sideways on to Edward, so that both of us could see him out of the corner of our eye. "I am very sorry about what happened yesterday. I'm sorry about the prank, which was really stupid, and about letting Edward get involved, which was irresponsible. If I hadn't acted like such a child myself, then you wouldn't have been left trying to punish Edward without anyone's help.

"I think that Alice expected your experience of spanking Edward to be very like her experience of spanking me. She forgot that Edward has had a very different life. He's used to doing what he pleases, not to accepting discipline. We shouldn't have left you to deal with him alone.

"I forgot how recently you were human. You take to being a vampire so well that it can be hard to remember that you're still a newborn. I guess that you thought that Edward would be hurt in the same way as a human would be. If you'll permit me, I would like to show you that he can take a very harsh spanking. He's not a human and a human-style punishment, won't really have much of an effect on him."

Jasper was so calm, he managed to make it sound sensible that I would let him smack my Edward. I nodded dumbly. So, Jasper told Edward to rejoin us.

Edward was looking less defiant now. He was biting his upper lip.

"Edward," Jasper said sternly, "I am going to punish you for running away from your wife's discipline, do you understand?"

He nodded.

"Is there anything that you would like to say before we get started?"

"Please, Bella, please don't do this."

"You're talking to me, right now," Jasper reminded him, "Bella is just watching."

Edward sighed, "in that case, I don't have anything to say."

Jasper nodded. "Alright. It's important to start with a bit of a lecture," he told me "you need to be sure that he understands what this is all about. Edward, you know that Bella is your wife and that gives her responsibilities to you and it gives you responsibilities to her. You know that it is her job to discipline you when you misbehave and endanger the family. Running off like that made it impossible for Bella to do her job. A man accepts the consequences of his actions. He doesn't run away. Why did you run?"

"I didn't think that I deserved a second spanking for the same offence."

"Is it your job to determine what punishment you deserve?"

Edward struggled with himself for a while, trying to decide if he could get away with complaining further. He finally decided that there was no point. "No, sir."

"Well, you now deserve the punishment that Bella originally intended for you, plus an extra punishment for running away. As far as I can see, running has not worked out well for you."

"No, sir."

Jasper nodded. "Once you've scolded him, you should order him to get into position for his spanking. That helps Edward to submit to a deserved punishment. Edward, I want you to drop your pants and lay over my lap."

Edward obeyed with a slight sigh.

Once he was lain over Jasper's lap, Jasper rearranged him. He tugged down his boxers and pushed them to his ankles. He put his hands on the floor on one side and his feet on the floor on the other, "to keep him steady" he said.

"If Edward wriggles about in a spanking, or you plan on being particularly severe and think he might need to be held in place, it's easy to hold him with your hand on one side and your leg on the other." Jasper demonstrated, moving his own right leg so that Edward was laid over his left knee, with his legs sandwiched between Jasper's. He held Edward's back down with his left hand. "This hand," he held up his right, "will administer the beating."

Edward whimpered quietly.

Jasper slapped his thighs hard, "sssh, you're interrupting."

"He should have a little bit of time to think before you begin. This is when he considers what he could have done differently in order to avoid getting into this position. When you're ready, you just start spanking."

Jasper pulled back his hand and slapped it down hard on Edward's ass. Edward gasped in shock.

"You should spank every part of his buttocks," Jasper said cheerfully, landing more swats all around Edward's vulnerable rear. "But it's best not to get into a predictable pattern," he demonstrated a pattern: left top, right top, left bottom, right bottom, middle. He repeated the pattern a dozen times, "a predictable pattern, even if you're using a fair amount of strength, becomes soothing, and that isn't really an effective discipline technique." He broke pattern and landed three hard swats in a row right in the centre of Edward's bottom. Edward gave a grunt and bucked his legs.

Jasper struck his thighs quickly. "If he moves or misbehaves in any minor way during a spanking, I always slap his thighs. Now that Edward knows this, it serves as a reminder to behave appropriately. What did you do to displease me this time, Edward?"

"I kicked, sir," Edward was breathing hard between words.

Jasper nodded, "by the end of a spanking, he shouldn't be able to speak so coherantly," he said, continuing to smack. He kept up a regular rhthym, two smacks a second (though the smattering that he gave to Edward's thighs was delivered faster), but he varied the placing and the strength of the smacks.

Watching Jasper's hand cracking down on Edward's perfect white behind was rather hypnotic. I felt guilty for finding this so relaxing to watch.

Edward was clearly not relaxed. He began to sob into Jasper's leg.

"Try not to pay too much attention to his noises. They could mean that he's sorry, they could mean that he's sore, or they could just mean that he wants you to feel sorry for him. Towards the end, you should remind him of the reasons for his punishment. This one, for example is because he ran away from the spanking you planned on giving him, isn't it, Edward?"

"Y-y-y-yes s-s-sir."

"Then you should give him something to remember. Either harder swats," Jasper demonstrated half a dozen smacks, each of which made Edward cry out. "Or, you could speed up for a bit," he gave Edward thirty very quick smacks in the space of five seconds. "Or, if you really want to make an impression, you can do both at the same time." This time Jasper spanked Edward incredibly hard and incredibly fast. Edward howled.

"And, that," Jasper dealt one steady hard smack with each word, "is how you spank Edward."

Now that Jasper had ceased hitting, Edward started crying.

"He isn't going to go red and he isn't going to bruise or bleed. Once you've done this a couple of times, you'll be able to recognise when he's had enough. For now, I would suggest that you use this spanking as a minimum. Always go for as long as I just did, and add more swats if you think that the crime is particularly bad."

"Usually, I would keep him on my lap for a while, rub his back," Jasper demonstrated, "talk to him gently and assure him that it's all over. But, on this occasion, it isn't all over, so, get yourself back in your corner, Edward, and wait."

Edward struggled off Jasper's lap. He tugged up his pants and underpants at the same time, and shuffled, rather than walked, back into the corner.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked me, "it's your turn."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I didn't write 'Twilight' which, despite what you see online, doesn't actually contain a single discipline scene.

Warning: spanking and discussion thereof, all the way through this story, including this chapter.

Jasper was looking at me, waiting for me to call Edward over and give him his second spanking of the morning.

"You just spanked him until he cried, wouldn't it just be cruel if I spanked him on top of that?"

Jasper shook his head, "he ought to have considered that before getting himself into so much trouble. If he doesn't want to be spanked, he just has to avoid misbehaving. If he doesn't want to be spanked twice, he can simply not run away from his first spanking. Whenever you're ready, Bella, just call him over."

Edward was stood in the corner again. This time he was leaning forward, resting his forehead against the wall. He was emotionally tired and physically worn. The pain and the embarrassment of the past half hour had taken its toll on him. The only thing that was offering Edward anything in the way of support right now, was that wall.

It felt cruel, but so did leaving Edward waiting. I felt a bit stupid saying, "Edward come here," but he came over meekly enough. His eyes were on the floor.

"You refused to obey me during your punishment yesterday, and that means that I have to repeat it today," I said.

"Bella, he's looking at the floor. I don't think that the floor is talking to him."

Edward swallowed and looked directly at me. His lips were dented, he'd been biting down hard on them. His mouth was pulled down in a miserable scowl. His eyes, however, were still thoughtful.

"You played a stupid prank and risked drawing attention to the family, as well as hurting and frightening an innocent woman."

"Yes, Bella." He didn't sound quite resigned, more as though he thought that I was being irritating and he would agree in order to get this over with quickly.

"Is there something that you want to say, Edward?"

"You just watched what Jasper did to me. Are you really prepared to inflict more pain on top of that?"

"I don't want to carry this on another day. Let's get it over and done with now. Tell me, what exactly did you do yesterday?"

"I played a stupid prank and risked drawing attention to the family, as well as hurting and frightening an innocent woman. Then I refused to obey you during my punishment yesterday, and that means that I have to repeat it today."

"You're just repeating back what I said to you! I want you to tell me exactly what this prank entailed. I want you to confess."

"Why? You've already planned my punishment. There's no point in me saying anything."

Jasper moved so fast that I didn't see him until his hand connected with Edward's denim-covered buttocks. The sound was deadened by the fabric, making a thwack rather than a crack. I don't think that the fabric deadened the impact much, judging from Edward's face. His breath caught and his eyes closed in a grimace of pain.

"You will obey your wife, Master Masen. Do you still not grasp the situation in which you have put yourself?"

"I get it, sir, I'll answer."

There was a pause. Jasper didn't sit back down. He remained standing behind Edward.

My husband was frowning, thinking. He wriggled his feet, trying to find some comfortable way to stand.

Jasper got impatient and gave another two swats to his ass.

"Ow! Please hold on, sir. Let me think."

It was the wrong thing to say, and he got four swats this time. I could sense a pattern beginning.

So could Edward. "I'm answering," he said, speaking rapidly now, "I'm answering. It started with Jasper and me talking about the trouble that Carlisle was having at work. I thought that we could help out by frightening the nurse off, and I came up with the idea of convincing her that the hospital was haunted. So, I invented a story of a nurse who'd been laid off, and had lost everything – you know her home her family, that sort of story – and had returned to the hospital in an ambulance, having committed suicide. I said that she'd left a note vowing to get revenge by haunting anyone who tried to take her job. Jasper wasn't sure, but he agreed that it might work, so we made the rest of the plan together."

Edward took a breath, then glanced warily at Jasper, and started speaking again fast. "We finalised the plan in the car on the way to the hospital. We were going to start making strange things happen. First, we put red dye in her creamer, so that it looked like blood as she poured it into her coffee. Then, when she went into the store cupboard, I flickered the lights a bit. It was easy to move too fast for her to see, so we took it in turns to move things mysteriously about. Nothing too big or too obvious. I just moved her pen to the other side of the table. Took a packet of bandages that she'd put down and replaced them in the store cupboard. It was all arranged so that she couldn't be sure if she was imagining it, or if she was really being haunted. Then I would finish the whole thing off by telling the nurse the story, while Jasper amped up her fear a little bit."

Satisfied that Edward was, finally coming clean, Jasper had sat back down. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. The story that Edward had made up was ghastly. What he did to that poor nurse was cruel, she must have thought that she was going mad.

"That's when Carlisle caught us. At first, he had no idea why we were messing about in the store cupboard, but then this terrified nurse walked in, looking like she was about to faint and he figured that we must have something to do with it. He told the hospital that something had come up at home, and he marched us down to his car and drove us home. Thinking it through, it's quite insulting that Carlisle would just assume we were up to something. He didn't even ask if we had a good reason for hiding in the hospital."

Edward frowned, momentarily concerned about Carlisle's lack of faith in him. Jasper didn't seem surprised, he merely shrugged. After all, Carlisle had been absolutely right.

"Jasper," Edward emphasised his name, "told Carlisle everything. Which is just about when you came home, Love."

He looked sideways at Jasper, trying to read whether he was planning on any more 'encouraging' smacks. Then he took a step closer to me. "Are you very angry, Bella?"

"That poor woman! Edward, that was a very cruel trick."

He frowned, "she wouldn't stop flirting with Carlisle."

"Edward!"

"Sorry, Bella."

"I wish that you'd just confessed and taken your spanking yesterday."

He sighed, "so do I."

"Alright, drop your pants and get over my lap."

"Bella, I am still sore from . . ."

"Please stop talking now."

Finally, he obeyed me. With a stony face, he undid his pants and pushed them down to his knees. He lay down carefully over my lap. His feet were flat on the floor, and he put his hands down flat as well.

I tucked my fingers under the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down. Edward stiffened his back. Holding his sides, I slid him further forward, so that his buttocks were strained taut.

This was the third time that I'd seen my husband's naked butt in the last twenty-four hours, and I still hadn't had any fun with him. Didn't he know that he was supposed to be naked with me for pleasure, not for discipline? His body was so perfect, so smooth, so delicious. Yet, I was supposed to smack him, while all I really wanted to do was to lean down and sink my teeth into his soft, white skin. I knew that, if I did, I would be rewarded with the sweet, myrhh-taste of Edward, and he would hiss, and twist his head around to look into my eyes. We'd tumble onto the floor together, and I could lick his thighs, and tease my tongue ever closer to his groin, making him whimper and growl. When I took him in my mouth, he would purr like a cat.

Instead of a purr, I heard a cough, Jasper was trying to get my attention.

"Are you quite well, Mrs Masen?"

I tried to smile reassuringly at Jasper, and I failed. He winked at me, and I remembered that he would know what I had been thinking about. For the millionth time since my change, I thanked God for taking away my ability to blush.

Then, having waited so long that Edward was probably beyond nervous and becoming bored, I began. I started with one sharp smack in the centre of his rear, spreading my hand over the crease between his cheeks. Edward didn't move.

Quickly, I landed another half dozen blows, sprinkling them all over the target area. Edward was pressing his lips tightly together, so that his groan came out as a soft mew, escaping through the very corners of his mouth.

After thirty or so more smacks, Edward was mewling like a tiny baby. He was holding his mouth together with his teeth, piercing them through his bottom lip. He was clinging to his self-control and keeping his howling on a tight leash. He couldn't stop himself whining, though.

His bottom was still as marble white as ever. Jasper's treatment of it had left no marks at all. They had certainly left a lingering pain, though, I noticed that my swats were getting far stronger reactions than Jasper's had done. Clearly, the second spanking hurt a lot more than the first.

I remembered what Jasper had said. I had to tell Edward why he was being punished. "This spanking is for bullying a human nurse and you are receiving it for the second time because you refused to accept it yesterday. You were very rude when I tried to smack you yesterday, and I can't let you get away with it."

When Edward opened his mouth to reply, he began with a miserable howl. He had been keeping his cries in his mouth simply by pinning his lips closed with his teeth. As soon as he unfastened his lips, he was wailing. "I ammmm soooorrreee, ma'am" he moaned. His voice was sodden with misery.

I looked over at Jasper, surely I had gone too far. Surely I should just give Edward a hug now and try to make it all better. My poor Edward!

Jasper picked up on my feelings and shook his head. "Do you need me to demonstrate the end-portion of a spanking again, Mrs Masen?"

I felt Edward's buttocks tense as he too waited for me to answer that question. He did not want to be passed back to Jasper for another 'demonstration'.

"Are you sure?" I whispered.

Jasper grinned at me "I'm an empath," he said, "I'm always sure."

Those Whitlocks are a cocky pair. It's probably a blessing they have to keep themselves so secretive. I don't think that the world could handle them if they were out in the open. The problem with Alice and Jasper wouldn't be that they could take over any country they pleased, it would be that they were sure that they had a duty to take over the world and make it a much better place. They were both sure that most things would run better in their hands.

I didn't have to do what Jasper suggested. I certainly didn't have to let him lay another hand on my husband's sensitive posterior. I could just tell Jasper to mind his own business and leave us in peace. On the other hand, he was probably right. That was the really annoying thing about the Whitlocks, not them thinking that they could do a better job of running my life than I did, but the fact that they were probably right. Jasper clearly knew how to get through to Edward.

When Jasper ordered Edward over his knee, Edward definitely didn't say 'make me'. When Edward argued and refused to go to the corner, all Jasper had to do was to whisper a couple of words. Jasper had Edward in the palm of his hand. He had no trouble making Edward regret a stupid course of action. If I wanted to give Edward the in-charge-wife that is such a feature of Cullen family, I would have to make the same impression on him that Jasper did.

Hard, fast or both together?

I pulled my hand back further, taking advantage of my added newborn strength, and cracked it down hard on Edward's bottom. His legs shot upright of their own accord.

"Edward!" I said, irritated that he was making me look unprofessional.

I dealt a dozen or so slaps to the backs of his thighs and he tensed up, holding himself more still.

Then I repeated the hard smack. This time he managed not to move his legs by clenching his hands into tight fists.

I gave him another hard smack and he whistled through his teeth. He was obviously finding it hard to still himself, so I wrapped my leg around his legs and held his back tightly in place with my non-spanking hand.

Then I administered another handful of these strong swats. When I had finished, Edward lay over my lap, crying.

I rubbed his back, trying to soothe him, until Jasper interrupted. "Edward, corner," he said sternly. Edward didn't make a single sound of protest. He pushed himself off my lap and wriggled into his clothes, with a miserable whimper as the cotton dragged over his red-hot backside. Without hesitation he returned to his corner, hanging his head and clasping his hands behind his back (not touching his bottom).

"Try not to be so taken with the noises he makes, Bella. Don't stop spanking him until you are satisfied that he has learned his lesson."

I frowned. I was sure that Edward had learned his lesson. I had felt him giving in to me. I had heard him whimpering and crying.

"Edward get back in position," I said, "and quickly."

This time there was no sighing, no eye rolling, he didn't remind me that his bottom was throbbing nor that he'd already been thrashed twice. This time, Edward walked over to me, undoing his pants on the way. He forced his pants down, looking into my eyes. I saw that his top lip, which he'd bitten through, leaving a neat line of holes, was beginning to heal already. I wondered why he'd bitten so hard, was that really preferable to crying during a spanking? Then he lay himself meekly over my lap, arching his bottom neatly to receive any punishment that I saw fit to hand out.

I tapped him lightly, over the top of his boxers.

"See," I told Jasper, "he's learned his lesson."

Jasper laughed. I don't know whether he was relieved that I wasn't actually going to start over, or if he was relieved that Edward was behaving much more properly. It didn't look as though I needed my brother-in-law's help to discipline my husband any more. He leant over the top of his little brother and kissed my forehead. "In that case, I think that I have fully atoned for my stupidity yesterday. Are you done with me, Mrs Masen?"

He managed to sound utterly respectful and sweet, a complete change from the tone that he had taken with Edward. I suppose that's the difference between calling me 'Mrs Masen' (which he appears to intend as a term of respect) and calling Edward 'Master Masen' (which he uses to reinforce his superior age and rank). I wonder what he would have done if I'd said 'no'.

"Thank you, Major Whitlock."

Left alone, the mood changed. The air felt softer and gentler. Though he was still lying over my lap, Edward seemed to be cuddling up to me. His arms were pressed against one side of my legs and his knees were pressed against the other, he was giving me a strange shaped hug.

"I'm glad that you are finally willing to submit to a punishment from me. It's horrible that it's taken us so long to get here," I continued to tap Edward's bottom as I spoke and he hissed with each tap, the sound of water dripping onto a hot stove.

There was a strange kind of peace between us now. I had thought that my punishing Edward would lead to tension and misery. Instead, now that it was really over, now that he had accepted my role and his role, it had given us peace and contentment.

"I love you, Edward."

I heard him gulp, "even today?"

"I always love you, no matter what you do."

"And, if I mess up again, you're going to spank me like this?"

"Yep."

He sighed, "I think I understand why Jasper doesn't like to annoy Alice. There's worse pain than the spanking."

"Really?" I gave him another quick smack, to see if he meant it.

"Ow! It hurts even more to know that I've disappointed you. It hurts having to look into your face and see that you're displeased; that you think I need a smacked bottom."

"So, I could just look at you next time?"

"Yes, please!" He answered too fast, making me smile. Then he thought, and replied again, "Er . . . not that I plan on creating a next time. I intend to avoid this level of misbehaviour in future. I won't run from another spanking, I am sure of that."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: same names, same setting, but this is really, really not Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight' series.

Author's Note: tying up a few loose ends.

That evening, Edward took Renesmee back to the cottage; carrying her triumphantly on his shoulders. I heard them laughing together until they dipped out of ear-shot.

Jasper was still trying to teach me Italian; which I seemed to find harder than the rest of the family. My memory was just as good as theirs, but my mouth had never practised the foreign accents before. Though my perfect hearing made it easy for me to recognise and recall the precise sounds of each word, my unpractised lips struggled to form them.

Edward would probably have been happy to coach me, but Jasper was more patient, and he hardly ever laughed. So, I spent a couple of hours with Jasper, trying to master Italian. I followed Edward and Renesmee later.

When my husband and my daughter were alone together, they were intense. They were often so tightly wound into their own spiral of conversation and games that they didn't even hear my approach. So, I wasn't very surprised to hear them deep in conversation as I approached the house. I was surprised by the subject matter, however.

I was very surprised to hear my darling daughter's beautiful, innocent voice saying "If you won't give them to me, I will tell Momma and you will get spanked."

I expected to hear Edward clamp down hard on this cheek. Instead I heard him mutter, "I'd rather you didn't tell her."

Then I heard something get passed over and Renesmee crowed with glee, "thank you, Daddy!"

Well, I ought to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that did not sound like good responsible parenting.

I opened the door. They were in the kitchen. Edward was washing dishes, Renesmee was sat on the counter, swinging her legs and eating her way through a ginormous bag of chips.

Edward looked up guiltily.

"I thought that every once in a while it wouldn't do her any harm," he said.

"She's not meant to eat a family-sized bag by herself, sweetie. That's a lot of fat and salt for such a little girl."

He looked down at the dishes, "Yes, Bella."

"Shall we just chalk this one up to who's been human most recently, and who was a human before the invention of potato chips?"

He smiled with relief.

"We'll talk when the munchkin is in bed, ok?"

The relief faded. "Yes, Bella."

"You can finish these another day," I said, taking Renesmee's chips off her and carrying her off to bed.

"Please," Edward said quietly, as soon as I came back down the stairs, giving me the second big surprise of the evening, "if you are going to spank me again, can we go somewhere so that Renesemee can't over-hear us?"

I sat down on the sofa, and pulled him down next to me.

"I don't plan on spanking you, Edward. If it makes you feel better, I am never going to spank you where our daughter can over-hear. How does she even know?"

He shrugged, "I thought . . . sorry."

"You thought that I had told her!"

He nodded. "I thought that you didn't realise how humiliating that was."

"Poor baby. No, I didn't tell her."

He twisted over onto his side, and cuddled up to me. I ruffled his hair, making him purr. I loved the softness and the silkiness of his hair. I loved the sound of his voice making that gravelly purring sound, when he was enjoying my touch. It was like petting a tame lion, well, maybe not a completely tame lion. More like petting my own lion, one that had given itself over to me in complete trust.

"Edward, what was going on when I came home? Was our toddler black-mailing you?"

He groaned, "a little bit."

"You'd better just tell me what she has on you."

"I can't just give her more chips?"

"No."

There was a pause. I stopped stoking his hair. He pushed his head back to find my hand, realised that I had stopped and sighed. "I was speeding."

"You speed all the time."

"And it annoys you all the time. You say it's against the law and that you want me to stop."

"True. That doesn't mean I'm going to spank you for it."

"Really?" He looked up to check my face, trying to work out whether or not I was serious. Maybe I was wrong about the 'complete trust' thing.

I sighed. "Have I ever tried to spank you for speeding before?"

"No, but after yesterday and then today, I thought that things had changed."

"Only a little bit. I'll punish you if you pull stupid pranks and the whole family declare that you need a bit of sense knocked into you. I'm not going to settle all our arguments by putting you over my knee. Alice said that you were scared of getting into trouble with me."

He chuckled bitterly. "It's kind of her to tone it down. I was petrified of making you angry enough to leave me. I've been petrified of making you angry enough to leave me ever since . . . I left you."

I knew that he'd left me – for my own safety, apparently – and I knew that I'd been pretty upset about it at the time. But, it wasn't a real memory. It was like those memories you have of things that happened when you were a baby. You've been told them so many times that you could easily re-tell the story yourself. You can even picture it, see in your mind exactly how it must have happened. But, you don't really remember it, you just know about it. Edward leaving me was one of those memories for me, but it was as fresh and raw as the day it happened for him. I barely recalled the pain, which surely must have been intense. He still felt a shot of it every time he thought about those days. Part of me wished that he'd forget about it too, but that was impossible for him.

Edward was still talking. "Today was terrifying. It turned out alright, though. You were angry with me, but you didn't leave. I think that – if I'm stupid enough to mess up again – you'll punish me, but you won't be going anywhere."

His voice was slow and careful, he was telling me about his own great epiphany. It reminded me of something, of some misty memory from before the change. What was that epiphany of mine? I realised that he loved me, and always would. I remembered that, but I couldn't remember when, or how, I had come to that conclusion. I almost certainly didn't have it beaten into me.

"That's true. So you're not scared of facing me anymore?"

"No. A spanking I can handle."

I grinned at him. "I'll tell Jasper that, he'll say that I still haven't got the hang of it."

He didn't laugh at my teasing, he tensed up a little bit. "I'd far rather you didn't tell. I am still terrified of Jasper."

"I'm sorry that he hurt you so badly."

"It's not that; you gave me a very thorough punishment, trust me. Being spanked by Jasper is just different to being spanked by you. He's just an authority figure; you're so much more than that. Obviously, you are both pretty fearsome and – oh god! – you both hit very, very hard. But, being punished by Jasper is extra terrifying because he has all these images of what 'punishment' means to him, and they play through his mind all the time. I know that he's not going to do anything worse that smack me, but I see so much worse, and it is rather scary. It is extra humiliating too, being under-dressed in front of my brother. Whereas with you, well, being naked over your lap isn't humiliating. It feels safe and somehow where I belong."

"Don't get used to it. I don't plan on repeating the performance very often, only when you really mess up."

He smiled his crooked smile, the one that made me want to trace his lips with my tongue. "There was just a brief moment, when I wondered whether a similar position, in slightly different circumstances, when I wasn't actually in serious trouble, might be rather more exciting. What about if I'm just a little bit naughty. Is there any chance of a little bit of a spanking?"

I recognised the glimmer in his eye. I'd seen it plenty of times before (we were a married couple who didn't need to sleep, I'd seen that gleam every night since my change); I hadn't expected to see it in the midst of a discussion of spankings, however. "You're kidding! You found today a turn on?"

He swallowed, I guess not.

"Not exactly that, no. The events of the day made me think about something that would be rather erotic." Beautifully precise. "Just a light punishment, more of a correction than harsh discipline."

I laughed at him, so sweetly trying to ask me if I would be willing to try some hanky panky. Maybe he had meant it when he'd referred to himself as a 'masochistic lion'.

I tried on a slightly stern expression to see what effect it had. Edward smirked briefly, then he lowered his eyes and licked his lips.

"I am very sorry for speeding, Bella" he said, in the most delectable little-boy voice I had ever heard.

[And I think we'll leave that there.]


End file.
